I consider myself an expert on Star Wars. I have read every book, comic book, and graphic novel written. I have seen the movies countless times. I know the stories, the characters, and even the phrasings. But, the more I think about the "expanding" Star Wars universe, the more I find holes in the story and "time distortions" Case in point, did Darth Vader lose all memory of being Anakin Skywalker? I mean he must have or Episode V (Empire Strikes Back) would have ended a little like this:
(A furious lightsaber duel is under way. DARTH VADER is backing off LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft.
Luke backs away. He looks down, and realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.)
VADER
Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.
LUKE
He told me enough. He told me you killed him!
VADER
No! I am your father!
LUKE
That's not true! Thats impossible!
VADER
Search your feelings; you know it to be true!
LUKE
NO!
VADER
Yes it is true, and you know something else? You know that brass droid of yours?
LUKE
Threepio?
VADER
Yes,Threepio, I built him when I was 7 years old.
LUKE
No!
VADER
Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp.
LUKE
I destroyed your precious Death Star!
VADER
When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Control ship!
LUKE
Well it's not my fault.
VADER
Oh, here we go... "Poor me, my father never gave me what I wanted for birthday, boo hoo, my daddy's a Dark Lord of the Sith...waaah, waah."
LUKE
Shut up!
VADER
Your a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had exterminated the Jedi Knights!
LUKE
I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon!
VADER
Oh, for the love of the Emperor! 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open. Only human ever to fly a Pod Racer, right here baby!
(Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step toward it.)
VADER
I was wrong. You're not my kid. I don't know whose you are but you sure ain't mine.
(Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft. Darth Vader looks after him.)
That sounds a little more acurate to me. But then again maybe I am mental?!
(A furious lightsaber duel is under way. DARTH VADER is backing off LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft.
Luke backs away. He looks down, and realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.)
VADER
Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.
LUKE
He told me enough. He told me you killed him!
VADER
No! I am your father!
LUKE
That's not true! Thats impossible!
VADER
Search your feelings; you know it to be true!
LUKE
NO!
VADER
Yes it is true, and you know something else? You know that brass droid of yours?
LUKE
Threepio?
VADER
Yes,Threepio, I built him when I was 7 years old.
LUKE
No!
VADER
Seven years old! And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp.
LUKE
I destroyed your precious Death Star!
VADER
When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Control ship!
LUKE
Well it's not my fault.
VADER
Oh, here we go... "Poor me, my father never gave me what I wanted for birthday, boo hoo, my daddy's a Dark Lord of the Sith...waaah, waah."
LUKE
Shut up!
VADER
Your a slacker! By the time I was your age, I had exterminated the Jedi Knights!
LUKE
I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon!
VADER
Oh, for the love of the Emperor! 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open. Only human ever to fly a Pod Racer, right here baby!
(Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step toward it.)
VADER
I was wrong. You're not my kid. I don't know whose you are but you sure ain't mine.
(Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft. Darth Vader looks after him.)
That sounds a little more acurate to me. But then again maybe I am mental?!
posted by Andy at
11:25 AM
0 Comments
